Deception II — Measles

I was young — in kindergarten — when I contracted measles. The only thing I remember about it was the darkened room. I was not permitted to be around any bright light.

Photosensitivity may not be a condition, but it is a sign that accompanies a variety of conditions and illnesses. The stabbing pain in my eyes and head when I had dengue fever in Haiti was a typical sign of the disease. The same stabbing pain when I was developing migraines was typical of that condition.

But why, when I was seven, did I scrunch up my face in the class photo? They had us facing the sun. Everyone smiled. Only I squinted and scrunched against the sun. My mother was furious with me and with the nuns. It wasn’t my fault or theirs. I was not capable of smiling brightly into the sun. It hurt too much. I don’t think my mom ever understood that, nor did she ever suspect that the measles might have been at the basis. Who would have thunk it?

Why did I request sunglasses from a very early age? I scratched out a note to my second grade teacher asking her to allow me to wear my sunglasses. I signed my mom’s name. The nun was kind and knew it was my hand, but no one bothered to try to check why this was happening.

It was because the sun was stabbing my eyes.

For a period when I was young, sunglasses were some kind of issue. They were a sign of … what? Pretension? I was not trying to be someone I was not. I was trying to be like everyone else. I was trying to be able to smile naturally without scrunching up my face. I was trying to be a happy kid without pain.

With measles breaking out again, I am reminded anew. One friend of mine on Facebook is blind in one eye and deaf in one ear from her bout with measles. All who have had it remember the dark rooms. Some were lucky enough to have been afforded sunglasses.

This is one very destructive disease. Only now, as a senior adult, I understand that measles probably hobbled me with permanent photosensitivity that either fed into or perhaps caused the later migraines that were always triggered by bright sunlight.

I was one of the lucky ones. I survived. I was a teenager when they came up with a vaccine. My side effects were negligible as long as I had permission to wear sunglasses.

To this day, they save me from horrid migraines. I do not wear them for glamor.

They are a defense. Lately, I wonder if it all began with measles when I was in kindergarten.

I got away easy. Measles is nothing to play with. It is deadly. Vaccinate your kids. I have two deep lines between my eyes from squinting in the sun all of my life. I was one of the lucky ones.

People think I am angry when they see those lines. I am not. I just wonder.

Was I deceived? Did no one know that my eyes were damaged? Whatever! I wear sunglasses at will now that I am past 70.